Tomorrow is Mother's Day, a day to celebrate beautiful, loving mothers and all the hard work they do for their children by guiding and supporting them.
I became a mother almost three years ago, and up until then I had wanted children, but was increasingly afraid to have them because of my worsening C-PTSD. A mentally ill mother should not be raising children, and if I managed to attempt suicide again and be successful what would that do to them?
However, they say all things happen for a reason, and timing of my pregnancy coincided perfectly with the start of our new lives in Hawaii, and so it was the perfect time in my life to really reflect and turn it around. My own mother made it clear that she was incapable of showing basic empathy for my mental health struggles, and respect for aspects of my lifestyle (and later, parenting) that she didn't agree with, so she is not in our lives anymore. I would be fine keeping low contact with her if she simply showed me empathy, respect, and remorse for her actions..but part of my healing is letting go of false hopes.
So I will be spending Mother's day with my daughter this year, appreciating her for making me a Mother and appreciating the support I have around me to be the best mother I can!!
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