Today my therapist went over the thought stopping technique for when I have anxiety riding in the car.
--Yes, one of the reasons I decided to seek out help again is my anxiety riding in the car. It may be the trauma from the car accident, it could be trauma from always being verbally assaulted regularly riding in the car, but I've had anxiety in cars for a long time and the panic attacks I've had while riding in cars as an adult were likely mixed with flashbacks....there are a lot of difficult experiences and memories that now I realize, I was having a flashback which elicited that reaction....
Anyway, the thought stop technique. (see what I did there) When you feel the anxiety coming up, you tell yourself to stop, and then you pull up a memory of a time you felt happy, free and fulfilled. So, basically your memory guys throw one of the yellow balls into the tube and it broadcasts. (Inside out is actually REALLY accurate, and so cute, with their portrayal of how things work in the brain.)
So what is a memory that I get on the projection screen for that purpose?
It reminded me of the film After Life. The premise is a different take on purgatory. You land in what seems to be an abandoned school building turned into a dormatory and ad hoc movie studio, and they have you choose one memory that they then recreate for you and give you a videotape.
I saw that movie at a movie showing by the Japanese Culture Club somewhere around 2006-7. What would my memory be?
What I came up with was a pretty mundane thing.
It was after a Gagaku concert I attended in Tokyo. I didn't remember the way to the station so I walked in a random direction. It was night, and December so the gingko trees were bright yellow. The yellow glowing in the light of the streetlamps was so beautiful, so tranquil, and I felt at peace. I knew I would get home, I felt safe in Tokyo, so I just enjoyed that beauty, in that moment.
What important lessons I can learn by bringing that memory up into the projector again.
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